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The nearly 20-year-old dating site has shed the heteronormative skin that still somewhat plagues eharmony and Match. OkCupid's slogan is "Dating deserves better," and they're damn right - especially for queer and non-binary people. User base might not be big in smaller towns
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Read the full privacy policy here.Īlmost everyone on the app is going to be on the same page politically and socially There is not a clear way to opt out of cookies on its website unless you are a California resident.
HER also uses third parties for advertising. The company uses cookies for marketing purposes like emails to see if users are actually opening promotional emails. Privacy policy: HER collects personal information that can identify you and anonymous information that is not tied to you. You might even get a heads up about a local LGBTQ event, or gauge interest in an event you're planning yourself. Switching over to the community feed opens the door to virtual hangouts with self-curated groups for queer women of color or interests like the new lesbian films that mainstream Twitter will probably ignore. Joining niche groups like "newly out" or "travelers" can also connect you with people using the app for similar reasons.Īside from coupling up, a lot of HER regulars are looking to make friends or scope out the queer community in a new town. The traditional text bio is where you can flex your sense of humor or describe what kind of relationship you're seeking. veganism), and star signs, as well as a "What does this mean?" field in the sex, gender, and pronoun categories to supply a more well-rounded understanding of identity. In 2019, HER revamped its profiles to let users get more creative in categories like gender, sexuality, pronouns, diet preferences (e.g. Founders of the award-winning app are committed to cultivating a space that’s “ so ragingly queer" that frustrated women can delete apps that don't feel like home.Īs its user base of over 4 million grows, HER could widen your dating pool beyond the queer women you already know. Given the existence of Grindr and Scruff, the need for an online dating arena specifically for queer women was clear - thus, HER. Might run into fake profiles or couples looking for a thirdĪpps like Tinder (opens in a new tab) and Bumble (opens in a new tab) are technically for all orientations, but they'll be damned if they don't sneak some male profiles into your feed even if you've specified the opposite. (Creeps are drawn to porn-y names like Pink Flirt.) If you're wondering why we left most of those so-called female-only apps out, that's why. A note on what didn't make the listĪ decent number of dating sites and apps specifically for lesbians do exist, but most are plagued with the same issues: Either their sole purpose is to sexualize lesbians and aren't really meant for genuine connection at all, or their lax security protocols make it way too easy for ill-intentioned men to sign up pretending to be women. You just have to decide whether you'd rather deal with the quirks of Tinder and have more options to swipe through, or be fine with coming across the same profile three times as long as it's not a man. Though women-only apps like HER are gaining traction fast, they can still be a bit of a ghost town. There's one big problem: The apps targeted toward the straights are still where most of the queer users are, too.
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How to navigate dating apps when you're bisexual If it's not a man appearing in your feed when you specifically marked that you're searching for women, it's matching with a woman just to be hit with the classic "My boyfriend and I are looking for a threesome." (Yikes.)Įven in 2022, these tone-deaf assumptions still find a way to rain on the lesbian online dating experience.
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(It's hard for some of us to comprehend, but not everyone spends every free minute on TikTok.) Lesbians who have exhausted their local romantic options are still going to want to see who else is out there in time for cuffing season.įor much of current history, some people have acted as though lesbians didn't exist outside of porn and Ellen DeGeneres, while jokes swirled about how girls only turned to dating women if they had a bad experience with a man. The heteronormative weirdness got so alienating that lesbians began turning to TikTok as a means of meeting other single lesbians - turns out, it's a damn good matchmaker.īut it's unrealistic to expect a social media app to work like a dating app for everyone. Online dating as a lesbian, for the most part, still involves having your space invaded by straight people.